Happiness Is An Inside Job

My friend’s wise mother was asked what she wished she had known as a first time bride, something that took her a lifetime to discover. She said, "I married young. I was idealistic, and I expected my husband to bring me happiness. But I was lonely; I was needy. Finally, I learned that happiness is an inside job. If you’re miserable, that is what you’re going to bring to a marriage. If you’re happy, then that is what you’ll bring into a marriage. You have to take full responsibility for your own feelings. Making another person responsible for all of your happiness is too much to expect, even from the most devoted husband."

Most people think that if they can just find a mate, then they will be happy. But that isn’t the way it works. Perhaps that is why more and more people feel that a marriage ceremony is dispensable. If they are already happy, they may reason, "why take another step?" True, marriage does not save rocky relationships. But marriage isn’t about getting happiness. It is about making a commitment to work to maintain a life conducive to one another’s happiness. "In sickness and in health, richer or poorer…"