Pushing, Shoving, and Posturing

My husband's brother's wife is having a baby girl!  My 11 month old son will probably be an only child, so this news really takes some worry off my mind.  Having someone so close to his age, so nearby, whose parents I'm already close to is great!

My sister-in-law is well aware of the challenges I've faced with our mother-in-law regarding my son.  And she has a shaky relationship with the woman to begin with.  Now, with a baby of her own on the way, she's really feeling the pressure.  And our mother-in-law and her daughter are already trying to solicit promises of access to the baby.  I told her, "I hope I've paved the way for you, but I may have set you up for disaster because I've made so many compromises."  Her response was, "Well, let's just say you're nicer that I will be."  Yikes!  Then she said they start every conversation with "Well, she [meaning me] let's us take him for a photo shoot every month."  Which is true.  "Well, she [meaning me] let's us visit as often as we want."  Which is false.  And besides, she's not under obligation to do what I do, much less what they say I do.

So, she decided to head things off early by having a sit-down to discuss some boundaries.  Her first and foremost concern was the unannounced visits and the frequency of visits.  Mother-in-law lives 2 blocks down from her and popping in without phoning first has been an ongoing issue since she married into the family.  Tearfully, mom-in-law (always playing the victim) agreed to it, claiming that she always calls me first.

Two days later she pops in unannounced at 8am (early for a visit since sister-in-law is known to be a night owl).  And, a first for her, pushed her way into the door and went through several rooms as if she was looking for something/someone.  Well, sister-in-law was babysitting my son.  Apparently, mother-in-law had found out and had to see it for herself.  She was furious because she had not been asked to watch him despite her frequent offers to take him.  Her lame excuse for stopping by was that she didn't know how to type in the wifi password on her tablet (something she has done for herself daily for a year).

This does not bode well.