Moral Profiling

Tolerance and acceptance are often mistaken for one another. Tolerance recognizes the god given right to choose one’s own course, whether it be godly or not. It is what restrains a person for acting out against someone with whom he morally or culturally disagrees. Today people pride themselves on being tolerant of others, but the popular brand of tolerance seems geared toward accepting or even inviting bad behavior from others. Many have gone beyond toleration and actually celebrate immoral behavior. Things once condemned such as gambling, gluttony, premarital sex, and homosexuality are now highly encouraged by masses who believe this moral (or immoral?) stance to be enlightened, progressive, even lofty. And no one wants to be accused of prejudice of any sort, even if it means erasing the lines between right and wrong. I am glad that some remnants of Biblical Christian limitations are still in place. For instance, humanity has not degraded so much as to accept child molestation, rape, or murder as normal behavior…yet. But perhaps in my lifetime, I will see that change too.

But what about tolerance for those living a god-fearing lifestyle? Where is the tolerance being shown toward them? Have you caught yourself rolling eyes at some religious nut? When some young couple declares that they are waiting until their wedding night to lose their virginity, are you skeptical? It may seem laughable to those who never esteemed their virginity so highly.

My husband and I each determined at young ages to live in strict accordance with Bible principles. We met in our late teens and formed a deep friendship based on our mutual interests and admiration of the other’s high moral standards. When we began to have romantic feelings for one another, we discussed how our courtship would progress. We agreed to keep our expressions of endearment to a minimum, and we insisted on having an adult chaperone along on all of our dates. These precautions enabled us to have a clean courtship and we began our life together as man and wife with clean consciences. In 15 years of marriage, we have carefully guarded the trust we have in one another’s faithfulness. We do not view pornography, watch rated R movies, nor do we spend time alone with members of the opposite sex. To us, marital fidelity is sacred, and our vows binding before God and men. It may sound strange or doubtful to many readers, but is the norm in our circle. We’re as "vanilla" as people come.

This background was not disclosed with the intent to brag. I state these facts as a prelude to the coming tale. Last year, I went to the doctor for my annual exam. The practitioner performed a physical and I was in good health. To my great surprise, the insurance statement that came in the mail listed lab charges for a battery of tests for sexually transmitted disease. The test results were negative, of course. We had to pay $600 out of pocket for the tests that I never ordered—tests for which I am at zero risk! Worse than that, doubt was introduced to our marriage for the first time. My husband found it hard to believe that a simple check-up would result in such a large bill at the sole discretion of the doctor. It seemed to indicate that I must have ordered the tests. And he insisted on knowing whether I suspected him of cheating, or was cheating myself. I immediately put him in the car, drove to the clinic, and demanded to speak to the doctor. I interrogated her on the matter. She admitted that she had ordered the test merely because of the prevalence of clemitia among women my age in our area. I demanded to know why after being assured that neither my mate nor I had multiple partners, she went ahead and ordered more tests. The tests that were run are standard at this clinic whenever a papsmear is performed. This explanation restored my husband’s trust, but did not relieve us of a costly bill. To this day I resent the fact that I was profiled!

This year, I explained to the new attending physician that I would not be authorizing any tests for STDs. She seemed very uneasy about it, but decided that she ought to respect my wishes. Still, she felt it prudent to point out that many young women, while being chaste themselves have a misplaced trust in their partners. I allowed this since it is logical from her perspective, and I needed to demonstrate that I was not in denial. So, I agreed that if, after examining me, there were any physical evidence that I had actually contracted a STD I would certainly submit to both test and treatment. She had to admit that there seemed to be no evidence indicating a problem. My out of pocket expense was $10.45 for this visit and I continue to be in good health.

Is there so little integrity, loyalty, and trustworthiness in the world that no one can make a claim to it? It is shameful that society stands at the ready to tolerate badness, but cannot tolerate righteousness.